I watched Evangelion

Hello, Akemi here! At least this time I didn't disappear for half a year LOL. Anyways. The first anime I somehow decided to watch this year turned out to be Neon Genesis Evangelion. I don't know what I expected, but... not this? I mean, it was sitting on my to-watch list for years. In fact I had already seen the first two episodes long ago, but I kind of abandoned the show. And then last weekend I randomly watched the whole freaking series and now I have things to say. So here goes.

Let's start with what I knew about Evangelion before watching it. I knew it was an older mecha anime, I knew there was a manga, I heard it was emotional. I saw some memes "get in the robot Shinji" and I knew about the Kaworu x Shinji ship. I remember I even read a doujinshi about them that one time in high school (or was it at uni? who knows) and while some may say "woah, spoilers!" it really didn't spoil anything to me, since I had absolutely no context. ~~Not to mention it was mostly just porn.~~ A couple of years ago I was taking drawing lessons and there was this girl in the group, much younger than me, who once asked if I had seen Evangelion. "No, not yet. Why?" I said something like this and she responded with something like "Because it's sad like you." At that time I was actually already after watching the two episodes and abandoning the series. I'd always known I was going to give it another shot someday, and as you can see - I did.
Let's skip to last Saturday. I'd got my new drawing tablet and I was searching for something to play in the background as I would draw. I didn't feel like watching YouTube so I went to Netflix and while going through the anime catalogue thinking maybe they had something I already watched so I wouldn't have to focus on subtitles, I noticed Evangelion. So I thought "why not, I've seen two first episodes already, I'm probably not going to get much into it, let it play on the other screen". I honestly thought I would end up turning it off or ignore most of the show. As you can probably tell - I thought wrong.

The first time I watched episodes one and two, they were kinda heavy and difficult to understand. I thought the rest of the show would turn out to be Shinji's internal struggle and it would be boring, to watch him be constantly depressed. I kinda expected it to be more phylosophical, the kind of show where you have to think and analyse everything on your own to actually understand what is happening. That's why, during my second watch, I didn't focus too much on these two episodes. Because I didn't plan to focus on the show at all. But then I was surprised - the next episodes reminded me more of a typical shounen anime, with the protagonist going to school and hanging out with friends. Evangelion actually started to get interesting. I especially liked the first episodes where Asuka appeared. The show became more alive and I found myself getting invested.

What I figured out after the first half of the series is that this show doesn't explain things. Everything about the world and the characters I had to figure out from the context. Nowadays in anime and manga I am used to seeing explanations for everything - certain characters explaining how things work or talking about others's backstories. This isn't really present in Evangelion. There is no scene explaining what was Second Impact or what Angels are. If Neon Genesis Evangelion was a 2020s anime, or even 2010s, I would expect a scene where Shinji is introduced to Evas, where someone tells him "this event happened, this and that occured, now we have this enemy who works like this". None of that happens though. Apparently everybody in the world of Evangelion knows what Second Impact was and the existence of Angels isn't surprising to them either. I have to admit, it was an interesting experience to have to piece together the world of Evangelion as I watched. Long time ago I watched anime Uta-Kata - I couldn't understand it until the very last episode where things got explained. I was pissed, because I needed that knowledge earlier - without it I just got bored. Honestly, I can barely recall what the show was about anymore. I'm mentioning it now, because Evangelion is the exact opposite. Despite having no clear explanation to things happening on screen, I wasn't bored. I understood enough and piecing together information I lacked was still enjoyable.

Definitely a strong point of Evangelion is the cast of characters. One more thing that differs this series from newer shows is that nowadays we tend to get episodes focused on one particular character. For example one or two episodes being completely focused on the backstory of just one character. This doesn't really happen in NGE. While there are episodes that focuse more on Asuka or Rei it is interesting how their past is integrated with their present. Sometimes it felt like watching two timelines happening at once. I cannot really find proper words how to describe it.

Another thing I remember is how I once read someone watching NGE thinking "it's the show with that silver-haired guy" then thinking "is he even in here?" and finally going "what the fuck". I knew Kaworu was important character, and from that one post I figured his popularity is opposite to his screentime. But yeah, what the fuck indeed. I did not expect to be so little of him. At the same time, he made an impact - he was so distinctive from others, strong enough for me to see him as a unique person among the others. I wish he got more screentime, maybe a backstory, but at the same time knowing the structure of this anime - I know it was impossible. At least we got enough of Kaworu and his interactions with Shinji for the two to be forever recorded in the history as one of the OG yaoi pairings. I had heard about it too - originally I though there would be quite a lot of the two in the show, then I though "how can people ship them if Kaworu barely appears" and then I watched the show and... Yeah, totally deserved.

I am aware my writing may be chaotic today. My apologies, I just wanted to talk about the show I enjoyed, but none of my friends watched it. Anyway, back to the topic - then we have the final two episodes and like... what the actual hell. I have no words to describe what happened there. Again, I heard the ending was screwed up, to the point Gainax had to make an alternative version, but I expected something that would make people angry and disappointed, like Dickens's Great Expectations or even the Attack on Titan ending. I did NOT expect whatever the hell this shit was. And I don't mean shit in a negative way. Honestly, I wish I could be there during a meeting where people working on Evangelion decided "yes, seems good enough, let's animate this". Like... HOW? Why? These two last episodes are certainly an interesting experience and after reading about more about Anno I understand how he came up with it. But still, this was some crazy stuff, especially for a mecha series. I was expecting disaster, fighting, maybe end of the world or all angels descending from outer space to Earth. There was nothing indicating how wild the ending would be.

Finally, going back to the beginning - I probably can tell why I reminded that girl of Evangelion. It is a sad show, but not in an obvious way. It is sad in a "every day is heavy" way. I read on Wikipedia that Anno was depressed and his depression influenced him when he worked on Evangelion. I could feel that while watching. This show feels like depression in a very non-obvious, hidden way. Every character has their own struggles. There isn't anyone truly happy and there isn't anyone free, just like a depressed person is never truly happy or free. At least that's how I see it, from a point of view of someone also struggling with depression.

That's probably everything I have to say about this show, at least for now. It is getting late and I still have work tomorrow. Maybe I will write some more about Evangelion once I'm done with the films. I am honestly curious what more this universe has to offer.

I watched Evangelion

Akemi 16/01/2024 20:58